May 7, 2007

Make no mistake: bestiality is wrong.

Man, two weeks without internet access. I suppose that's what I get for trying an ISP based out of Exodar. Can't even fly a gryphon straight out there, I don't know why I was expecting to get a decent net connection.

Anyway, continuing on with reader suggestions, Psyae steps up with:

Relationships (sexually or otherwise) between warlocks and their demonic minions. (Perhaps compare hunter relationships with their pets?)

It's something of a universal inside joke that warlocks get busy with their minions. Apparently everyone except the warlocks finds this endlessly amusing. Psyae, for example, is a rogue, and I could turn this question right back around by asking what kind of sexual relationship she has with her poisons.

I imagine that would sting. I mean, yeesh.

Anyway, it's a little more complicated than that. Consider that warlocks have access to three more-or-less humanoid minions (actually more than three, but I'm not counting the ones that exist only in the fourth and fifth spatial dimensions whose existence are utterly imperceptible to mortal detection), and it would be absolutely foolish to assume that no warlock, anywhere, at any time, had attempted to get her freak on.

As evidence for this, I submit the endless gawking and catcalling my succubus Cattnys endures as we saunter along the road. If Random Human Warrior #4981 wants to have a go at her, I'm sure Random Human Warlock #3827 has at least attempted it. It could be argued that renting out one's succubus is a pretty enterprising way for a hard-up warlock to fall into a pot of gold.

Felguards are big and nasty, but I guess the same rules would apply. It's not difficult to envision, really. I mean, picture it: lonely female warlock, unlucky at love, who has access to a demonic slave who must by binding contract as deep as the nine hells follow her every whim... the math isn't that hard.

That said, I've never done it and don't intend to (I mean, the size difference alone is enough to deter me, if nothing else). I consider my demons to be tools, and nothing more. Warriors have their swords and axes, rogues have their knives and poisons, priests have their guilt trips. Warlocks have minions, end story.

As for hunters, I would jump into the whole "minions vs. pets" thing, except I already did that like over a year ago. But Psyae is a night elf, so we'll forgive her lackluster reading comprehension.

Oh, and for the record, none of the above pertains to orc warlocks. Orcs will nail anything. Anything.