January 6, 2007

Politely shove your "discount coupon key" where the sun don't shine.

I woke up this morning, took a quick shower, popped over to Jaeana's for a bite to eat, then rode the robo-rooster down to the mailbox in front of the bear-bank to reap the profits of last night's wheelings-and-dealings. Made a tidy sum, as always, and also got a most curious business proposition. Behold:

As you can see, I had Jubjub take some scissors to the offending party's internet address, so as not to help them at all by sending any of you fraudulent cretins over to give them business. I'm sure one or two of my readers are at least as noble as I am, and wouldn't think of stooping to such levels, but it's the rest of you cats I'm worried about.

Anyway, you'll notice a few things about this letter straight away:
  1. "Kxzrywn" is possibly the stupidest name anyone has ever had in the history of Azeroth. And this is coming from someone who has met clowns named "Ikillpuppies", "Urmom" and "Xxdruidxx".
  2. There are chumps out there who are earning their experience and honor (inasmuch as those things truly quantify anything important) by paying someone else to get it for them.
Truly, the audacity of some people.

Earning your place in Azeroth is a process which tests your mettle and pushes you to your limits. Some people, like me, surpass those challenges and go above and beyond the realm of mortal accomplishment, and achieve wondrous things most lowly peons could only dream of. Some, like this Kxzrywn jackass, can't hack it in the real world and end up as bottomfeeders, violently clamboring for the crumbs that drift down from above.

I guess my main point is, if you choose to be the type of scum who feels the need to boost your own abilities by paying someone else to go through your tribulations for you... well, that's really no skin off my nose. As a rule I don't have to put up with those types of simpletons unless I have the misfortune of being alongside them in Alterac Valley. But when it lands in my mailbox, it becomes a personal issue. Someone out there assumes that I, astronomically powerful and infinitely humble as I am, would leap at the opportunity to sell my soul in return for a paltry sum of gold or artificial honor. That is truly crossing an important line.

Run far and wide, Kxzrywn. If I ever catch hold of you, I'm going to flay the skin off your bones and feed it to my felhunter Bruunhym.

Bruunhym likes to be patted and scratched behind his horns after eating the flayed skin of a dispicable wretch. He also likes to play Frisbee.


Valdesta said...

I take it you don't do PuGs ever? That's where those people would bug me, I guess.

But then again, I really don't do PuGs because there's enough adolescent me-first morons out there PuGging it anyway, and most of the ones who are not jack-offs are already in guilds with a respectable friends list to call upon.

62 Troll Hunter, Zul'jin
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Venessa Liu said...

i can't aggree with you anymore!
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